I’m trying my best to learn about this new country that I’m living in, to understand its beliefs and ways. After all, that’s what this whole scolarship is all about – discovering and sharing other cultures, and your own through them. Hence, I’m having somewhat of an Americanization going on here.
To fully appreciate another culture, I have read in my Communications book that tolerance and understanding are not enough. Only through participation, to practice the culture and adopt its values, one can really get it.
Therefore…
[x] Bible belt rule #1: Say “y’all” in the most southern accent you can accomplish instead of ”you all” or “you guys” (and in case you’re addressing a big group of people you say it like ”all y’all” – yes, that’s true)
[x] Bible belt rule #2: Add the following – all of it - to your daily diet: grits (Grits: USA:s surströmming), sweet tea (preferably instead of water, to every meal and in vast amounts), cheese (don’t be shy; God gave cheese to the humans to use as an outlet for all their creativity and ingenuity), fried food (the best way is to deep fry about everything you eat, “the safest way of cooking” an american friend told me), low-country boil (this fascinating mix of everything from shrimps to spicy sausages God gave to the humans to promote multiculturality and enhance cognitive complexity) and last but not least: don’t forget that the food should be consumed in you car in the parking lot, while alone, and for the greatest success on disposable plates, with your fingers
[x] Bible belt rule #3: Gain weight (this is the basic goal of everyday life)
[ ] Bible belt rule #4: Get married young
Me in my newly obtained wedding dress. Bride to be!
I’m currently working on the fourth rule. I have invested in a wedding dress and a bridal veil, so the next task is to find myself a husband. For the authentic southern experience I’m looking for a real redneck. If you know any warm, fair skinned farmer with a perplexing accent as (un)clear as the mud covering his boots, spitting out the brown juices of chewing tobacco every few seconds, a slightly conservative hillbilly with a charmingly narrow mind, please get back to me as soon as possible. I can’t wait to move on to the fifth rule.
[ ] Bible belt rule #5: Form a band with your favorite selection of like-minded friends, cowboy boots and flanell shirts and start playing truck driving country music
List to be continued…
